I the customer, demand that you stop pretending that what you call ‘customer service’ is anything of the sort. To go some way to rectifying your obvious inadequacies, I implore you to take the following action:
1. Get rid of call filtering menus.
‘Press 1 to annoy the s**t out of me’. I’ve been through all of you mind mazes, and without exception, they’re all appalling. I want to speak to a human as soon as I’ve dialled your number.
2. Crossed wires
If I can’t understand your accent, and you cant understand mine, how can you possibly help me?
3. Direct line to representative.
Things go so much quicker when you’ve spoken to the same person twice. You build a rapport, and dare I say it, even trust could creep in!
4. Give me a service ticket.
At the very least assign my problem a numeric ticket number that I could use (via touch tone?) to bypass your hideous menu system.
5. Call me back.
If I’m waiting for something, I shouldn’t have to keep calling you – at my expense - to find out when its going to happen. If you say you’ll call me back with updates, call me back.
6. Confirm in writing.
Sending out hundreds of letters each day would obviously be cost prohibitive, but an email costs nothing. If I ask you to confirm a particular point in writing, do it.
7. Reply to written complaints rather than simply ignoring them.
If someone has reached the stage where they feel sufficiently upset and feel the need to take the time to make a formal complaint in writing then you should at least have the courtesy to at a bare minimum acknowledge that you have recieved and are dealing with their complaint.
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