OK, I know, I'm a mug. Despite having installation problems with Orange broadband last year I allowed myself to be seduced by their Home Max offer. Like I said, what a mug!!!
Installing the livebox was a nightmare. Plug and play? In your dreams. After what felt like 40 hrs on the phone to various individuals half a world away whose accents were barely comprehensible and whose advice was variously wrong, contradictory, incompetent and quite frankly totally useless, I managed, through BT's good offices, to get the line working.
This cost me £99 because, contrary to the advice of someone thousands of miles away whose advice was as much use as a chocolate fireguard, in fact a chocolate fireguard would seem like a nuclear fallout shelter in comparison, the fault was not with BT. SURPRISE!!!!!! The fault was of course with Orange, God bless them and all who sink with them, me included. I told you, I'm a mug; I actually believe that these "experts" know what they're talking about. I forgot: an "ex" is a has been and a spurt is a drip under pressure, serves me right for being a forgetful mug.
Anyway muggins sat back dumb and happy in the erroneous belief that all was sorted out and to be fair it was; for about ten days. Guess what, I now have no landline, the livebox phone works OK, the internet works down to Orange's normal standard but can I use the original landline? Can I fury (and that's not how you spell it)
So here we go on their wonderful magical mystery tour, bounced around from one incompetent clown to another, blood pressure at five atmospheres and climbing, patience in a terminal decline, frustration at about 40000 feet and accelerating big style.Customer services to technical support and back again and please would you hold because there is a queue. What? You can't call me back? (Told you I was a mug).
Now what they lack in technical ability they more than make up for in pure inventiveness. The latest "advice" is that the fault lies with BT (now come on, you're not surprised are you?) and that they haven't switched the line over to Orange. Now Orange have a problem because it will amaze you to learn that I don't totally trust them anymore. So I call BT and guess what: BT DID switch over the line on 28 December.
Latest state of play is that my partner, an absolute gem, took over before I decided to catch a fast jet to India to read several individuals the rules of engagement and possibly the last rites. Told you my patience was running out!
God knows how she did it but she managed to speak to someone in UK. Initially she got the same old bovine manure but in a more recognizable accent. However, she persevered and promises have been made and return calls will be forthcoming - so she is assured. And some of my best friends are gunners, the cheque's in the mail and of course I will respect you in the morning.
Maybe I'm not such a big mug any more. Beware of Greeks bearing gifts? Beware of Orange personnel answering the phone! Unless you are into fairy tales in a big way. I'm tied into a contract for 18 months; make sure YOU don't fall into the same trap.
Next We have a go at getting reimbursed for the charges incurred to BT and the cost of the phonecalls. Wonder if Watchdog want a giggle?
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